There is something to be said about the feeling that you get when you help someone without being asked or expecting any repayment. This is how I spent my day today. One of my best friends was really having a hard time getting her room put together for the year and I love setting up classrooms so it was only natural that I jump in and help. (Actually, I really just love to throw things away. Same thing, kinda.) During one of the numerous trips to the storage closet, I made a comment about being really sad lately about all of the goodbyes I’ve been having to say and all the changes I am trying to brace myself for in my professional life and my personal life.
In the midst of flinging junk out the door this afternoon, my mom was busy sending me pictures and videos of my 2nd youngest sister who starting her freshman year at University of Utah in Salt Lake. I realize I have been out of the house since she was in middle school, but I also shared a room with her from the time she was 3 until I graduated high school. I have always been the 2nd momma in that house so, she is my baby too! Anyways, she has already been in Salt Lake City a few weeks practicing with the marching band, in which she is a star tuba player. (ffffff) I am so proud of her! She looks so happy and like she is truly in her element. I am wishing her the best freshman year ever! I just hope that in the middle of my crazy life that I will be able to make it to a game!
Speaking of sisters leaving, I also mailed a package to Vermillion today to my sister-friend McKayla. (From here on out in this blog she will just be referred to as my sister because in my mind, that’s what she is.) Anyways, I know sisters go off to college and it really shouldn’t affect the older sibling that much because we have already gone off and lived those things. While I am super excited for her to experience all the cool and great things that this world has to offer, I find myself really kind of bummed. McKayla has been my rock the past 2 years. She came over to my house almost every single day. She would do my dishes and sweep the floor while I graded papers or cried at the kitchen table because of a parent. Or she would walk right in and plop on the couch in a heap of tears and we would reverse roles. Just like sisters do! I love her. And I miss her terribly. I have been moping around here for a week now just trying to figure out how I am going to get through this school year without my sister right here.
I think I mentioned in my very first post something about being the cheer and dance coach. So, how we got started and everything that we have been through as team, good and bad, is a whole other post for a rainy day. But, I will say that none of our successes could have been possible without one student in particular. Bethany. She was there on the very first day, never left, never wavered. She has just stuck by my side through every up and down and new thing that has come our way in the last 2 years as far as cheer and dance goes. This year will be the first year and a beginning of many firsts without her. She chose to attend a different school in order to make her future easier in the military. I am so proud of her for thinking ahead and having the guts to make that decision. but nothing hurts more than feeling like your kiddo left you.
This summer was a tough one. I taught summer school from the 1st of June to the 31st of July. It was also filled with some not so nice decisions by people that work in my school. Some of my friendships really suffered. And by suffered, I mean they don’t even exist anymore. I would be lying if I said that going back to school without those friendships isn’t going to suck.
So, is this a new beginning? Kim says so. And I have to agree with her. Why:
I am terrible at goodbyes. Obviously. I just wrote a blog post about a few people that I still have in my life, they just aren’t RIGHT HERE. I think that with school and coaching and always thinking about how I can make myself a better person, I really enjoy the constants in my life. I just have to make some adjustments and maybe I will just stretch the “annoyance budget” with my husband a bit this year. 🙂
I still have a handful of really great people in my corner!! Also, I am typing this on the eve of the first day of school and I am so excited and nervous and anxious! I believe in my job. I believe in my students. I believe in myself. I got this. I always do.